Defensiveness is Killing You

Defensiveness-is-Killing-You

 

I’ve been consulting and training companies on social media for 10 years now (time flies!!!). Companies pay me to go in and tell them what they should do to get better results. As an outsider it is really easy to see their mistakes – when you are in the weeds you don’t often see them.

My job is to tell them what to fix. They proactively reached out to me asking me to help them. They know they are making mistakes and want to improve.

One of the things I’ve noticed is that many people, when confronted with how they can improve naturally respond with excuses and reasons. They know they aren’t getting results (that is why they hired me) but they have a hard time not being defensive when shown how to improve.

I think it is a natural reaction.

It is difficult to hear that we aren’t doing something well.

I tell them that their Facebook posts aren’t getting results because the content isn’t optimized. They get defensive even though they know it isn’t working. Then we have to waste time talking about their excuses/reasons and I have to convince them to listen to the advice that they paid me for. It is a bit of a dance where I try to make sure they don’t feel attacked or offended.

The reality is that if they would just be open minded and listen they could fix things faster and move on more quickly.

Other clients have no ego, no defensiveness. They are eager for feedback, ask questions and implement quickly.

If you can be less defensive you can get better results faster.

We can all improve. I can improve 5 things about my writing style or headlines now. Getting actionable feedback encourages me to do better.

Consider your approach to feedback. Are you defensive? Are you open to it and eager for advice?

In my experience the less defensive you are about feedback, the more likely you are to change and grow.